Monday, August 16, 2010

Chill, Man! (Er, Woman!)

Yesterday we took a drive, southbound, on the 1.  The PCH.  The good ol' Pacific Coast Highway, full of some of the most gorgeous scenery on the planet. We ended up at a favorite place of ours, a campsite called Costanoa.  Now, this isn't just any old campsite, it's a fancy-schmancy campsite.  We've never actually camped there, because it's actually quite pricey. AT least, I imagine it is.  They don't list prices on their website (which is never a good sign, IMHO, if you're looking for cheap digs!) There is a lodge, some cabins, some yurts, and platforms upon which you can put your tent.  Every one has an electrical outlet.  There are very nice bathrooms, with showers and SAUNAS!, a garden, some horses to ride, a little playground, a restaurant, a lounge, a general store, and a FABULOUS view of the Pacific! (There's also an awesome cat who lives there.) We go and hang out, bring a picnic, hike, play at the park, and generally just enjoy the environment. 
On the way there I was reading "Yoga Journal" and thinking, yet again, that I really NEED to do more yoga, meditate regularly, and manage my stress.   And being in the environment I was in was also helpful.  (Meditation is so much easier when your surrounded by nature, lol!)
I haven't been sleeping well.  I worry all the time about everything.  SO last night I did a guided meditation, and another, shorter one this morning.  It really does help! Being in nature helps.  I don't do enough to take care of myself.  I used to think taking care of myself meant exercising like crazy, but it doesn't.
At all.
Working out is important to me, absolutely!  But I'm starting to switch my focus from hardcore-"calorie-torching" exercises toward more mind-body.  Yes, I will still ride my bike and lift weights, but yoga is important, too.  Not so I can "melt away the fat," but to help me find the calm places, as well as my Self.I also checked my scarily-accurate horoscope last night, and it said "Survival lies in enlightened self-interest: Go the the beach. Pick flowers. Take bubble baths. Next month you'll feel like a different person."  Yeah.  It's getting kinda freaky!

OK, Confession time: Last week I joined Jenny Craig. 3 days later I canceled and got my money back.  Because the food, while pretty tasty, was making me feel sick. (There's A LOT of gluten and dairy on the menu!)
Right after I joined, on the ride home, I started to cry.  I think, actually no, I KNOW there was a BIG part of me that was already regretting my decision.  And the next day, when I was doubled over with stomach pain, I knew I had gone down the wrong road.
I need to fix my LIFE, not just my weight.  I'm FINALLY GETTING IT!
Part of that fixing is to let go of a lot of things.  Preconceived ideas, news shows, other peoples' opinions.  I know I've said this before, but I'm finally seeing how it all connects together.  I'm learning to not want things I don't need, and to pick my battles.  
I'm learning, FINALLY, to listen.


Charlotte said...

Yay for listening to yourself - esp. with the Jenny Craig thing! You are the one who introduced me to Geneen Roth, by golly:) And I totally agree with you - I have the same guilt about not meditating/doing yoga enough. Nature does make it easier though!

azusmom said...

I know! I'm so ashamed of the whole Jenny Craig thing! But at least my insanity only lasted a couple of days (and was refundable!)

Pouch said...

be glad!!!

azusmom said...

I am, lol!