Yesterday we took a drive, southbound, on the 1. The PCH. The good ol' Pacific Coast Highway, full of some of the most gorgeous scenery on the planet. We ended up at a favorite place of ours, a campsite called Costanoa. Now, this isn't just any old campsite, it's a fancy-schmancy campsite. We've never actually camped there, because it's actually quite pricey. AT least, I imagine it is. They don't list prices on their website (which is never a good sign, IMHO, if you're looking for cheap digs!) There is a lodge, some cabins, some yurts, and platforms upon which you can put your tent. Every one has an electrical outlet. There are very nice bathrooms, with showers and SAUNAS!, a garden, some horses to ride, a little playground, a restaurant, a lounge, a general store, and a FABULOUS view of the Pacific! (There's also an awesome cat who lives there.) We go and hang out, bring a picnic, hike, play at the park, and generally just enjoy the environment.
On the way there I was reading "Yoga Journal" and thinking, yet again, that I really NEED to do more yoga, meditate regularly, and manage my stress. And being in the environment I was in was also helpful. (Meditation is so much easier when your surrounded by nature, lol!)
I haven't been sleeping well. I worry all the time about everything. SO last night I did a guided meditation, and another, shorter one this morning. It really does help! Being in nature helps. I don't do enough to take care of myself. I used to think taking care of myself meant exercising like crazy, but it doesn't.
Working out is important to me, absolutely! But I'm starting to switch my focus from hardcore-"calorie-torching" exercises toward more mind-body. Yes, I will still ride my bike and lift weights, but yoga is important, too. Not so I can "melt away the fat," but to help me find the calm places, as well as my Self.I also checked my scarily-accurate horoscope last night, and it said "Survival lies in enlightened self-interest: Go the the beach. Pick flowers. Take bubble baths. Next month you'll feel like a different person." Yeah. It's getting kinda freaky!
OK, Confession time: Last week I joined Jenny Craig. 3 days later I canceled and got my money back. Because the food, while pretty tasty, was making me feel sick. (There's A LOT of gluten and dairy on the menu!)
Right after I joined, on the ride home, I started to cry. I think, actually no, I KNOW there was a BIG part of me that was already regretting my decision. And the next day, when I was doubled over with stomach pain, I knew I had gone down the wrong road.
I need to fix my LIFE, not just my weight. I'm FINALLY GETTING IT!
Part of that fixing is to let go of a lot of things. Preconceived ideas, news shows, other peoples' opinions. I know I've said this before, but I'm finally seeing how it all connects together. I'm learning to not want things I don't need, and to pick my battles.
I'm learning, FINALLY, to listen.