I don't know if it's a coincidence, but over the past few weeks I have been bombarded by articles and advice for everything from what kind of medicine to take (or not take) to career goals to what kind of curves are "acceptable" on a woman. (Thanks to Leslie at "Never Say Diet" for a GREAT post on that last one!)
Remember that book "The Rules," in which a couple of women wrote about how to "catch" a guy and get him to marry you? There was this big brouhaha, because it basically set the Womens' Movement back 20 years. (I never read it, but didn't the authors all end up getting divorced?)
A few weeks ago, during my PT training, the instructor told us some of the dangers of both prescription and OTC drugs. While I agree that many of the side effects are scary, he's also a man and has never had PMS. Sorry, but when the abdominal and LEG cramps kick in, not allowing me to sleep, I'm reaching for the ibuprofin! And if it's a choice between taking anti-depressants and contemplating suicide, I'll take the pills.
I want to be a yoga instructor. I also want to be a voiceover artist. I can't do both right now. So, unfortunately, the yoga instructor training is going to have to wait. The fact is, and I never thought I'd say this, there are more opportunities in the V.O industry right now than there are in yoga. So I'll take my yoga classes and hope that I can rake in enough dough doing V.O. to be able to become an instructor.
Finally, my body is my business. I've FINALLY learned this after YEARS of believing that my body was not only a commodity, but public property, open to comments and crticism from friends and strangers alike. If I was hasseled while wearing a certain outfit, I never wore that outfit again. If I was told I was too fat, I went on a diet. If people made comments about my boobs, I wore baggy clothes.
I've been very clear that I'm not happy with my weight right now. But it goes deeper than that. I HAVE to learn to love myself UNCONDITIONALLY!!!!!! To stop believing that anything that goes wrong is somehow my fault. That I'm only loveable when I'm perfect. I HAVE TO LEARN THAT IT IS OK FOR ME TO BE HUMAN!
Denying myself food is not a virtue. Deprivation is NOT a good thing. My breasts, my belly, my thighs are NO ONE ELSE'S business!
My husband strokes my stomach and tells me I'm beautiful. My kids lie in my lap for comfort. My clients return week after week to my class. Why can I not see this?
Yesterday, at Bikram yoga, I decided that I'm no longer going to automatically think "fat" when I look in the mirror. Instead, I'm going to think "Juicy!"
And if anyone has a problem with how I look, then they can just not look at me!