Last week our son was on spring break, and, as I've mentioned previously, he was sick the entire time. Turns out that most of the kids in his class had the same thing. I guess it was a flu, since it just held on and they all had pretty high fevers that lasted 4 days. We didn't get him his flu shot last fall (our daughter got one, and so far so good). Hubby was camping and climbing in Yosemite with his buds for 4 days, and I taught 8 classes. Our daughter's bus company sent a substitute driver all week, who showed up at 7:05 instead of 7:20 every morning. And it's been 90+ degrees for the past couple of days here!!!! YOWZA!!!!!!!
Oh, and I should be getting my monthly visitor any minute.
I need a vacation.
Which isn't gonna happen, so I'm thinking of treating myself to a massage. The last vacay I took was over New Year's 2007. (I'm not counting the trips to Boston last summer when my dad was dying. Not really a vacation, y'know?)
Maybe I'll even go to a day spa. It's a little pricey, but less so than going away somewhere. Ideally I'd take off to wine country, but I don't really think that's doable.
Hmmmm...now I've got myself thinking. It could be a day trip. It's only about 90 minutes away.
But I digress. This is actually part of a bigger issue: my ol' pal GUILT!
See, I don't do things like get massages or take time away from the kids all that often because I feel guilty. I'm sure many of us, especially if we're a) FEMALE and b) MOMS are familiar with this feeling. We're not SUPPOSED to do stuff just for us! We're SUPPOSED to exist for our kids, families, friends, significant others, and pets. (Seriously, when you leave the house, the LOOKS you get from the dog, cat, bird, fish, etc.! The "You'releaving?whereareyougoing?don'tabandonme!whatwill Idowithoutyou?whenareyoucomingback?youAREcomingback,arentyou?" look just KILLS me!)
Last night my in-laws came over to watch the kids. Hubby was leaving for school and I was leaving to sub a class. My son got upset and started saying "Bye Mama! Bye Papa!" (his names for his grandparents) and clinging to me.
Oh, the guilt!!!!!!
Of course, by the time I came home, he was happily playing with his toys, sitting on the floor next to Papa.
My daughter had been sleeping. She woke up soon after we left and cried, um SCREAMED for half an hour.
Of course, my first impulse is to say "That's it, I'm never leaving home without the kids. EVER!!!!"
But that's not really healthy. For me OR the kids.
So I kinda need to GET. OVER. THE GUILT.
Whether it's over doing something for myself, eating actual food, speaking up, or WHATEVER. Guilt is sometimes a useless emotion.
Now I'm gonna go eat a cookie and see my shrink.