That Crushing Sound You Hear is Just My Ego.

Well, it's been an interesting couple of days! Yesterday I subbed a reformer class. I asked the students how much experience they had, and was greeted with a chorus of "Oh, we're good, we've been at this a long time," etc. So, great! I figured I'd give them a more challenging class (as opposed to the version I teach my beginning students). Well, they did NOT seem happy. I kept saying "Is everyone OK? How are the springs? Are they too heavy?" And no one said anything. But the grunts, groans, and glares in my direction spoke volumes. So I eased up. But they were still unhappy. And, when I handed out the Magic Circles to work with, most of them had never used one before. So I introduced them to it. Anyway, to make a long story even longer, I don't think they enjoyed the class. Which is a bummer, 'cause one of the great things about subbing is to subliminally advertise one's own classes. A "Hey, you like this? Well, I have a regular class on Fridays. Come check it out!" sort of thing.
Then I met the new group fitness director, who is very nice. But she told me that the club has a new policy when it comes to group reformer classes. Instead of a flat fee, we will now be paid according to the number of students we have. Which kinda sucks, because I've only had 1 or 2 students lately in my reformer class.
Yergh!
So, fast-forward to this morning, and I get an email from a different gym. I had subbed a class for 2 weeks, as they asked, and then figured the regular teacher would come back. Because that's what I was told. Well, it turns out I'M the regular teacher, except no one bothered to mention it! Apparently a bunch of people showed up for class last night, and there was no teacher! And I get an angry email from my boss telling me how disappointed the members were, that from now on I'll be teaching on a month-to-month "trial" basis, and that there are a lot of classes competing for space, and maybe there SHOULDN'T be a pilates class in that time slot, etc. So I sent an email back, containing her original request to SUB FOR TWO WEEKS.
Oy. (BTW, it even says that on the schedule: "Alyssa subbing.")
I understand that miscommunication happens. I also understand that this woman is REALLY BUSY, running the group exercise programs for two gyms, and probably thought she had given me the info. But I REALLY don't appreciate being made to feel unprofessional or flaky for something that was not at all my doing.
Finally, this afternoon, I was scheduled to sub another class (at the same gym where I subbed yesterday, for the same teacher), and NO ONE SHOWED. In my paranoid mind, I'm thinking that, somehow, the students yesterday told today's students not to show up 'cause I suck. I know that probably didn't happen, but, well, there's only so much one insecure-to-begin-with, brand-new pilates teacher can take, lol!
I'm just going to continue to go along my merry way, assuming that everything will turn out the way it should. The fact is, I get more and more folks in my mat classes (which, unlike reformer, don't cost extra) every week. All of the feedback that has gotten back to me has been extremely positive.
So there. take that, paranoia! Ththththppphhhttttttt!!!!!!