No, none of the above. But I was talking this morning (OK, with my therapist), and we were exploring my feelings about my weight gain. I said it makes me feel like I have failed. So I thought I'd come online and figure out what that's all about.
I've been reading a bunch of blogs this morning, and they have all dealt with body image issues. And I just saw a commercial in which a woman's thick, gooey mascara makes her a social outcast. It seems that, as women, if we are less than "perfect," we are failures. While watching the Miss Universe pageant (yes, I got sucked in! Ironically, I was watching "Hellboy" on cable at the same time!) I got to thinking about how much upkeep is involved for those poor girls! The hair, makeup, teeth whitening, nails, workouts, lack of food, walking practice, rehearsal, prepping, etc., etc., etc. And now poor Miss USA is being razzed for tripping on stage, because everyone who's pointing and laughing have, of course, NEVER made a mistake!
Why do I feel guilty? Why do I feel like a failure? I have a wonderful family. I'm raising two kids with Autism and, if I say so myself, doing a pretty good job so far. I have a job I love. I take care of myself and my family. I'm a nice person. I don't lie, cheat, steal, do drugs, or fall out of limos while not wearing underwear. Am I a failure because I don't have 6-pack abs after 2 kids? Or because I get pimples during PMS? Would having a "perfect" body make me a better person? Because, frankly, I look at some of these women who are "perfect"-looking, and I wouldn't switch places with them for anything. (*cough* Paris Hilton *cough*.)
Are we going to continue to let the bullies in our society dictate how we feel about ourselves (and each other)? For those of us who have graduated high school (some of us recently had 20-year reunions! Um, that we didn't go to. 'Cause they were in Massachusetts in November, and we live in California, and even if we could have afforded it and wanted to go, who the hell wants to leave California and go to Massachusetts in NOVEMBER?!?!?!), isn't it time we stand up and tell those bullies to fuck off? Finally? Maybe even with a good swift kick in their non-existent rear-ends?
So, anyone who tells me (or thinks) that I'm less worthy because of how I look can go screw themselves. They might as well; karmically, they're screwed anyway.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
I'm sorry if my post today contributed to your funk Alyssa. But I second everything that you said - our society values things we have no control over and denigrates our real successes as mothers. I'm so glad that you are turning that around!
And if it makes you feel any better, I've been struggling with the same feelings of failure about my weight gain too:)
No, you didn't contribute to my funk!
And, may I say, seeing your turbo-kick pictures, you (and the other ladies) look AWESOME!!!!!! (And you look like you could kick some serious ass!!!!!)
You know, it's so weird, I went to my boyfriend's family gathering last night and ALL I could think about in the hours before was "must look good must look pretty must NOT look fat must have nice clothes must make hair look good". It took me SO long to get ready.
And when I got there? Nobody cared. GOOD people really DON'T care - they're too busy asking how you are and what you've been doing. I may as well have turned up wearing a bin-liner, they honestly wouldn't have blinked.
I think you've got the right attitude - your achievements are awesome, and if people choose to ignore them and judge you on your looks instead? That's their loss. It's almost a failsafe way to pick out the nice guys from the vacuous idiots, I reckon.
TA x
Tokaiangel, I do the same thing!!! Even after being with my husband and knowing his family for 13 1/2 years (Yikes! How did that go by so quickly?), I'll still sometimes
take forever trying to get ready, to look good, to not look fat. Even though I see these people practically every day! Crazy, isn't it? And you're right, they don't care what I'm wearing!
Post a Comment