Saturday, July 12, 2008

Trying To Walk The Walk (And Getting Ready to Ride!)

Tomorrow is the LiveStrong Challenge in San Jose. I suppose I should be nervous about finishing the course, but I'm actually more nervous about the logistics: getting there on time (7:00 am-ugh!), parking, signing in, water, restrooms, and not getting lost at any point during the day. For someone with ZERO sense of direction, that's a biggie. (I get lost going to the bathroom.) Luckily, I have GPS on my new cell phone!
OK, so I'm working on the whole body-acceptance thing, and have been trying to take care of myself, eat better stuff, etc. I started including vegetarian, vegan and raw foods, but then PMS hit and out came the carnivore. Which is OK! Part of this whole process (I refuse to say "journey." Oh wait, I just said it.) is to allow myself to eat whatever I'm craving, as long as it is a physical craving and not an emotional one.
But, there's the whole weight gain (see post below). It's making me a little NUTS!!!!!! Which, I guess, is a little weird, because I believe in the Fat Acceptance movement, and I strongly believe that judging ourselves and other people based on how much we weigh and what we look like is incredibly damaging. I suppose I'm more accepting of others' than I am of myself. No, I'm not that generous, I'm just neurotic.
Finally, I tried a new anti-depressant, and went back to the old one after a few days of horrifying side-effects. When they say "if it ain't broke, don't fix it," maybe I should LISTEN!
OK, I'm off to listen to my new Journey CD.
( Dammit, I said it again!)

2 comments:

Charlotte said...

Oh Alyssa, I so sympathize with everything you have written! I just want to say that I find Intuitive Eating incredibly brave and I think you are doing a fantastic job. I'm sure your weight will even out. In the meantime, have you had your thyroid checked?

azusmom said...

Thank you, Charlotte!
I have been thinking of getting my thryoid checked. I've been putting it off. (I'm the queen of procrastination.)
The good thing is I don't feel like my weight is a character issue. But it is a concern.
Thanks again, Charlotte!