Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Renewal

The past couple of days have felt like spring.
Literally, in that it was in the mid-70's yesterday (how the heck that happened, I don't know!), and figuratively, in the sense that yesterday I woke up, went out into the beautiful sunrise, and felt that it was the beginning of something good.
Our daughter seems to be getting back to her old self; waking up happy, getting on the bus, putting herself to bed at night, etc. She's also responding REALLY well to her occupational therapy. She's feeding herself with utensils (which is HUGE!), and she's making really great eye contact, as well as communicating SO well!!!!
And our son! Last night Hubby said "He always smiles like he's up to something." And it's so true! I get the feeling he knows something we don't, or is planning to do something he knows he's not supposed to do, lol!
He is SO MUCH calmer than he was 2 years ago. The difference his therapy and the right classroom has made in him is incredible. I'm so proud of both of them! They really are amazing kids.
My mother has been in Hawaii for the past week. She was supposed to fly back today, but has extended her stay until Friday. She's going off on her own, having adventures. Yesterday my sister-in-law dropped her off at Haunama Bay and she went snorkling for 4 hours. Today she's going kayaking. She's seen dolphins, swam next to a sea turtle, and is having the time of her life.
They say that Hawaii is one of the chakras of the world. And my SIL says my mom looks healthier now than when she arrived. I think she's healing. I think being surrounded by all that beauty is helping her through her grief.
And the dog is feeling better, after our trip to the vet last week. With the kids. Which was an Event.
So this week is feeling more like the new year than the actual new year did.
And an amzing thing has happened: For the first time in a LOOOONG time I feel optimistic about my body. I've been reading "Overcoming Overeating," a book I've had for a long time, but haven't read until now.
I think maybe I wasn't ready for it until now. Because now it's like every word has been written just for me. Everything speaks to me. And it's so good to know that other people feel the way i do, and that there is hope!
I'm not tempted by diets. I'm not looking to drop "10 pounds in 5 days!" (ergh!), and I'm not berating myself for looking the way I do.
I feel lighter. Like a burden has been lifted. And it has; the burden of body-hatred is lifting. Finally. After more than 30 years.
Last night, after dinner, I thought to myself "do I want more food?" And I didn't. I was fine. I didn't feel any urgent need to run back into the kitchen and stuff more food in my face. I could acknowledge that I was lonely (Hubby was at school), tired, and even a little bored. The kids weren't acting up, lol!
Later, I did have a little snack. 'Cause I was hungry. And PMS-ing. And it was OK.

And, on a completely different note, have you noticed that the president-elect's choice of dog is getting more attention than his cabinet picks? It's pretty funny: "And my choice for Secretary of-" "Yeah yeah yeah, alright. What kind of dog are you gonna get?"
But, after all, it IS a very important decision!
The latest news is that the choice is between a labradoodle and a Portuguese water dog. Bith good choices, IMHO.

1 comment:

Charlotte said...

Yay!!! I am so glad that things are going better for you! And thanks for the book recommendation - I'll have to see if I can find that one at the library.

PS> Totally agree with you about the ridic amt of dog coverage!!