I was looking through a magazine this morning that's published by AFTRA, one of the performers' unions. It stands for American Federation of Television and Radio Actors, and it covers everyone from newscasters to voiceover artists (the folks who do commercials and cartoon voices, among others) to soap actors to backup singers. And everything in between.
Anyway, they have some unusual ads in this publication. One is for West Virginia, which, apparently, has some great, and EMPTY, locations for filming. One area looks like D.C., but, as the ad says, "without the red tape!"
Then there are the ads for lipo, lipo alternatives, cosmetic dentistry, and...Toe Lengthening.
Finally! My self-esteem has been low lo these 39 years because of my short toes, and now, at last, I can finally break free from the shame!!!!! (Heavy sarcasm here.)
All I could think when I saw this ad was, "Really?!"
The tag has a photo of a woman (OK, part of a woman. She has no head, but plenty of cleavage. Of course.) in a party dress and fancy shoes. Underneath the photo it says "Pretty dress...ugly feet?" Followed by the before and after shots of women (natch) who have had their feet surgically altered.
'Cause it's not enough to starve yourself, bleach your teeth (as I write this there's an ad on TV that says "There are no more excuses not to whiten your teeth!" Um, how 'bout I DON'T WANNA!?!?!?), pluck and shave and wax, spray toxic chemicals onto your head, spend billions of dollars on makeup, clothes, and handbags, spend years in the gym, etc., etc., etc. NOW, you must make sure your toes are long enough.
Who the fuck keeps track of that?!?!?! Pardon my Yiddish here, but WTF?! I can honestly say, in all my years as an actress and all the whackadoo things I saw, heard and experienced, no one EVER said to me "We're not going to hire you because your toes are the wrong size."
Maybe it's because my toes are the "right" length. Maybe, just maybe, that was the ONE part of my body that no one had an issue with. Hmmmmm. I'm starting to re-think this whole move out of L.A. Maybe we should move back, and I could be a foot model!!!!!!!!
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4 comments:
Alyssa, girl, you crack me up. I love how your brain works!! Now you must post pics of your perfect tootsies. And wear sandals, even in the winter.
this makes me want to yack. Whoever invented this..I wish an ingrown toenail on you. A plastic surgery-induced pox, if you will. And I mean that in the nicest, non-karma-ish way possible.
Ick!
How would they even do that???
I think you'd have to be pretty insecure to worry about the length of your toes!
(And given the tiny shoes many women wear, I wonder if there is also a toe shortening procedure for those made to feel their toes are freakishly long? I wouldn't be surprised.)
Charlotte, since we live in California, it's a lot easier to wear sandals in winter than it would be where you are, so I don't know if that counts, lol! As for the pic, I'll work on it. We're currently sans a digital camera.
W.G., I wholeheartedly agree!
Crabby, I wouldn't be surprised, either. What a strange world we inhabit.
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