Remember that song by The Kinks called "Paranoia?" GREAT song! Although the title above is from a different song, from the 60's. And this has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm blogging about today.
So I was up this morning at around 3:30 with WG, who is suffering from allergies that wake her up in the middle of the night. Luckily the tears and screaming had stopped, and she had commenced giggling, which is AWFULLY cute! Seriously, what's cuter than a little kid laughing like crazy?
I've been ignoring my own advice lately; reading news magazines at the checkout counter (seriously, why can't I just take the sex quizzes in "Cosmo" like a normal person?) and even watching the morning news. Yesterday I read an article in "Mother Jones." Yeah, that kinda says it all, doesn't it? I REALLY should have known better. Anyway, this article is about a group of people called Oath Keepers, who believe that the Obama administration is minutes away from declaring martial law; they are stockpiling weapons and food, and are ready to take arms against the government. They've been praised by Pat Buchanan and Glenn Beck. Many are soldiers, police, and veterans. According to "Mother Jones," they are a serious threat, not just a fringe group.
OK, I get it. When fringe groups start to be taken seriously by politicians and the media, it's scary. But this article made it sound like these folks are going to take over any day now. And I KNOW I should have taken it with a grain of salt, especially considering the source. (IMHO, "MJ" is the left-wing, print equivalent of Fox News: Let's take our opinions, backed up by few if any facts and actual research, and report them as truth.) But this is ME we're talking about: I can take ANY situation and immediately expand it to its Worst Case, Nightmare Scenario.
So there I was, thinking about the country, the mess we find ourselves in, the absolute unwillingness of most elected officials in Washington to work with anyone who disagrees with them, and I envisioned the fall of Rome. I pictured my family being sent to prison camps for mixed-race couples with children. I imagined my IUD being forcibly removed by government agents carrying Bibles. I imagined smuggling my family over the border into Canada, like the Von Trapp family with less harmonizing.
In other words, I went over the top. As usual.
I REALLY need to do something about this!
Because it's not just politics. If I'm having trouble, say, making a student loan payment, I imagine our home being taken away, my family being thrown onto the streets, living in a shelter with Hubby and the kids.
One time a woman in a special needs support group, who happened to be a dentist, mentioned that kids with poor oral health are considered abused. My son had a cavity, so, naturally, CPS was going to raid our home in the middle of the night, take out kids away, and throw Hubby and I in jail.
I honestly don't know if this behavior is learned, genetic, or both: my dad and paternal grandmother were worst-case-scenario types. I remember telling my Nana that I was going out on New Year's Eve: she told me to be careful and then said "Oy, I wish it was tomorrow, so I knew you were home safe." And I have no doubt she spent the entire night picturing me getting into one awful situation after another, all of them ending with me lying dead in a ditch.
My dad didn't want me hanging posters on the ceiling over my bed; he was convinced they would break free from their pushpins, fall on top of me and suffocate me while I slept. I tried pointing out that a) The posters were not living things, and were most definitely NOT evil spirits looking to do harm and going on killing sprees, b), If a poster DID fall on me while I slept, I would, um, WAKE UP, and c) If by some chance I DIDN'T wake up, I'd still be able to breath just fine.
So, y'see, I never really stood a chance of having a non-paranoid POV.
I've been trying to take cleansing breaths, I'm doing more yoga, and I try to calm my racing thoughts. Luckily, I'm still in therapy, so I can take this up with her.
I'm also having CRAZY dreams (I know, another surprise).
Hm. Maybe I DO need those tranquilizers!