It hit me the other day, like the proverbial brick, that I always seem to be waiting before I do things. Anything. Sign up for a yoga workshop, keep one of the kids home from school if they're sick, buy stuff at the grocery (or book) store, whatever. Large decisions or small, it seems I have to talk myself into them.
Like I'm waiting for permission.
And I know EXACTLY where it comes from.
I won't go into too many details (boring!), but it's left over from childhood, and into my early 20's. Even from my acting career, when I often relied too much on the director to tell me what to do. (The ironic part is that the most enjoyable performances, and when I even got my best reviews, were when I DIDN'T rely on anyone else and trusted my instincts.)
I know I've hit on this before, but the feeling of waiting for permission seems like a newer discovery. I know I've had the feeling of "waiting" before, but I was never exactly sure what, exactly, I was waiting for. Now I know.
So here it is: I hereby grant permission to myself to do what is needed, what is necessary, and, so long as it causes no harm, what is desired.
I think that should about cover it.