Wednesday, May 9, 2012

In A Not-So-Fun Place (Welcome to PMS-Ville!)

Hormone headaches, bloating, cramps, and a severe case of the Crankies.
Plus, my mom is coming into town.
I love my mom, but sometimes it's like having a 3rd child.  Especially with the questions.  She's a journalist AND a journalism professor, so it's CONSTANT questions.  Back when she & my dad would visit I felt like I was getting multiple, daily pop quizzes.
Here's an example:

"What town are we in?"
"Foster City."
"Oh."  Pause.  "Why is it called Foster City."
"I don't know.  Maybe it's named after someone named 'Foster.'"
"Oh yeah? Who?"
"I don't know, I'm just speculating."
"Oh." Pause.
"When was it established?"
"Umm...I dunno."
"Was all this water already here, or are these lakes man-made?"
"Is it an actual city, or a town?"
"Well, technically I think it's part of San Mateo, which is a City..."
"So why did they make it a separate entity and call it 'Foster City?""
"I STILL don't know the answer to that-"
"Seems like it'd be easier to just make it part of San Mateo."
"That's pretty silly.  Stupid, if you ask me."
"Well, they didn't-"
"WHY would they DO that?!?!?!"
"I...jst...glerk...ida know!"
"You've worked here 4 years and you don't know?!?!?!"
"Hey, why are you trying to drive this car off the bridge?"
"Well I was just asking."

Multiply that by 6 billion and you have an average visit with my mom.

Thank goodness for yoga!  Even just a few minutes helps me feel better.  I may have to take a bunch of classes over the next week...

Y'know, if I were a wealthy celebrity, I wouldn't have the typical entourage.  Assistants, hair & makeup people, someone to hold my umbrella for me (Seriously, what IS that?  It's not like these celebrities have 2 broken arms, or are carrying...ANYTHING! Why do they need someone holding an umbrella over their heads?!?!?!) or a dietitian following me around telling me what I can and cannot eat every minute.  No, I would have a therapist, a yoga instructor, and a soft puppy (or kitten, I'm not picky) with me at all times.
To help me stay calm.
Oh, and a bed roll.  In case I needed a nap.
Because celebrities are indulged.  People expect them to be weird.

Since I am neither wealthy nor a celebrity, however, I must find my own way of relaxing.  Without an entourage. And since it doesn't look like I'll be getting a vacation anytime in the near future, a spa weekend is out, as well.

So. Deep breaths, yoga, and constant Notes To Self that This Too Shall Pass. Impermanence is the nature of this universe we live in.  Heck, even Pluto isn't a planet anymore!

Oh, and a Serenity Prayer now and again can't hurt.

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