Keepin' it Clean

My food, that is.  Not my language.  And certainly not my house! Oy!
I've been on a slow process of eliminating certain foods from my diet & seeing how I feel. The latest are 2 of my faves, bread and cheese.  And darn it if I don't feel better without them!  I suppose my days of toasted sharp cheddar on freshly baked sourdough are, well, not finished, but limited.
And you know what?  It's OK!  Because it will be a treat from now on. Which will make it special, and I'll appreciate it more.  Like my beloved white-chocolate-with-whip mochas or dark chocolate salted caramels. Eat (or drink) too many and they become boring (and my dental bills go through the roof!), but save them for a once-in-a-while treat and I will savor every bite/sip. And maybe avoid dentures in the future.

There are times I feel deprived, but I have to look at the big picture: like IE and Geneen Roth point out, this is about feeding, loving, and nurturing my WHOLE self, as well as my body.  If there are things I like but they don't serve me, am I really treating myself?  Certain foods are like bad ex-boyfriends: the ones who were gorgeous and great kissers but treated you like garbage. Or maybe weren't so bad, but you just weren't right together.  Cheese is my personal "Brokeback Mountain:" for the longest time I just didn't know how to quit it.

And I need to keep reminding myself that I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING.  (Remember the post about ducks ruling the world if I were in charge of it all? Yup. Still hasn't happened.) I do what I can to the best of my ability, and that's all I or any of us can do.

Remember that Simon & Garfunkel song "Slow down, you move too fast?"  Yeah, that's been running (or, um, strolling) through my head lately.  Every time I start feeling guilty for not doing more, I sing it and remind myself I just finished a completely CRAZY few months in which I was completely overwhelmed & overextended. And I'm not doing anyone any favors if I keep that up.  My kids certainly deserve more from me.

And then there's faith.  That things, for the most part, happen for a reason, and the Universe will take care of me and mine if I let go and let it.
Which is a whole lot easier said than done, lol!  I'm holding on to my illusion of control by my fingertips!

So we'll see how it goes.  I'll let you know!