Wednesday, January 26, 2011

But What Does It MEAN?!?!?!?!

I am the type of person who lies (lays?) awake at night worrying about Everything.  Once, when I was 23 and had co-directed my first show (for a high school theater festival), I was settling in to bed the night before the big performance and just as I was falling asleep, my treacherous brain thought "What if the buses don't show up tomorrow morning?"  These buses were to take us (the directors) and the kids to the community college where the show was to be performed.  I lay awake ALL NIGHT worrying about it.
True story!
Of course, if I'd bothered to use logic I would have realized that A) there was no reason for the buses NOT to show up and B) even if they HADN'T shown up, all the kids lived nearby, and they could have either driven themselves OR had their parents drive them! It was a Saturday, and all their parents were coming to the performance anyway!
But logic has never been my strong suit, and that was even more true then.
(I would have made a horrible Vulcan.)

Yesterday I was asked a question: Why do I let all the political mishugas get to me so much?  WHY am I awake for hours worrying about whether the republicans will actually manage to get rid of NPR this time, or if the democrats will EVER get their act together? The other day I actually googled "living in Vancouver," anticipating the day when all my kids' special ed programs are cut and we have to move to Canada, thinking about how much I will miss San Francisco  because, I mean, it's January and we're walking around in shorts!
And then I start thinking that maybe I'm too mean to the republicans.  After all, many of my family members are republicans and I love them dearly.  Why am I demonizing people?  Why am I doing the EXACT thing I accuse others of doing?
And how likely is it that all my nightmare scenarios are going to come true?  'Cause I have a VERY active imagination, and I can picture some pretty amazingly bad things.

I read somewhere recently that the things we judge others most on are the things we dislike most about ourselves.  Which, of course, makes sense.
It also means that *sigh* I have to look at myself AGAIN and try to figure out what it is about ME that the politicos represent.

I've said it before, I'll say it again.  This becoming self-aware crap is HARD!!!!!!

In other news...
Huh.  There isn't any other news, really.
I just have to go drop my son's backpack off at school, since I forgot to bring it with us this morning.  Also found out that there is a weekly karate class nearby for kids with special needs, and it's FREE!!!!!
Gonna look into that.

Have a great day!


The Merry said...

Oooh, cool! And maybe they also have classes for moms of special needs kids? That would be even cooler.

azusmom said...

I was thinking the exact same thing!