Tuesday, September 14, 2010

"Sometimes in life you just have to feel bad."

From a book I'm reading (that I mentioned in the last post).  Some of the best advice I've ever received.  Simple, straightforward, and true.  See, I've been misinterpreting things for a looooooong time.  When I heard about balance and equanimity, I thought it meant always being calm and never having "negative" emotions. 
Um, no.
It's actually accepting those moments of so-not-calm and NOT feeling happy! and living with them.  Feeling them. Truly feeling the emotion, then letting it go.  Emotions are like tantruming 2 year-olds; they want us to notice them and take care of them.  If we ignore a child all the time, they will try to get attention any way they can.  If we ignore our emotions, they will do the same. If we keep stuffing them down or shoving them aside, we'll either end up on a huge binge or at the post office with a sawed-off shotgun.  (This morning I wanted to hurt a postal worker.  Not with a gun or anything.  Maybe one of those big club-shaped pillow thingies they use in anger management classes.  'Cause she was being a BITCH!!!!!!)
It's like bravery; we tend to think of bravery as having no fear.  But that's not it at all, and is, in fact, the opposite of bravery!  The really brave people have A LOT of fear, but do the task anyway.  For example; both of my kids, at some point this year, have changed schools.  It wasn't easy.  But they have stuck with it.  They go to school every day.  Sometimes there are tears or tantrums.  Usually not.  They do their work.  They come home, go to bed, and go back to school the next day.  For kids who are young and have trouble with transitioning, this takes a whole lot more courage than it does for someone to hang glide down Mt. Kilimanjaro.  IMHO.  Because the latter is someone who NEEDS the thrill, while my kids are just trying to get through the day.
If something doesn't scare you, it's easy.  It's doing the thing that scares the pants offa you that is hard!

So now, I have another favor to ask: my father-in-law is going in for open heart surgery on Monday, early in the morning (around 5:30 AM).  If you could, would you send some prayers and good thoughts his way?  Thank you!


Geosomin said...

Wow...I think I may have to read this book.
I deal with that all the time. I whine about how it's not fair that other people rant and rave and feel and are mean and I try not to. But truthfully, I won't let myself a lot of times, because I feel like it would make me a bad person. I use it to feel good that I haven't been angry or cruel...when it's not actually a good thing all the time. I can let off steam alone, but I have difficulty standing up formyself and living with uncomfortable feelings...because they can't all be made to go away.

azusmom said...

I hear ya! I got some good advice today: it's OK to IMAGINE hitting someone, just don't do it for real, lol! (It doesn't make us bad people!)