Wednesday, May 15, 2013

My Evil Plan is Working, Mwahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Got Hubby hooked on "Sherlock."  I showed him the first episode, "A Study in Pink," on Saturday, and we've watched one episode a night since.  2 left: "The Hounds of Baskerville,"  one of my personal faves, and (gulp) "The Reichenbach Fall." Girding my loins for that one again.
But the new episodes are being filmed as I type this.  Probably literally.  And, apparently, PBS is in talks with the BBC to show it here at the same time it's shown in the U.K.
Which would mean we wouldn't have to wait an extra 4 months, and risk all those spoilers.

He's also been watching "Doctor Who" with me sometimes.

On Friday I'm going to the first showing of "Star Trek: ID" at our local multiplex.
So it's been a good geek week.

As for real life, well, that's been a bit harder.  Usually the case, isn't it?
Our living situation is rough.  There's simply no denying it anymore. The only thing to be done is to alter my reactions and my perspective.  At least until we can afford to move, and who knows how long that will be?

The most important thing I need to remember is that it's not about me.  It's COMPLETELY, utterly, totally about THEM.  As I've noted before, it's impossible to please people who are only happy when they're either complaining or lording it over someone else.  Trying to please them, as I have done for far too many years, only leads to heartache, frustration, and the Urge To Destroy.

I have gotten the message:  After 18 years, I am still not really "Family."  Not to them.  I am the conduit for their first 2 grandchildren, and that's about it.  That's how it feels, anyway. In their minds I do almost nothing right.
So, OK.  Fine.  At least I know.  And I'll keep doing what I'm doing, and not feel badly about it anymore.
I'm not asking them to love me.  I don't particularly need them to.  As long as MY family, Hubby and the kids, are OK, then we're good.  Yes, it's a pain in the a** dealing with everything else, but it's not going to break my heart or crush me.  The situation will often piss me off well and good, but that's the extent of it, and I can live with that.

On a COMPLETELY different note,  I'm finding lately that I want to do yoga and cardio, and that's pretty much it, workout-wise.  I KNOW lifting weights is good for us, and I know it can get me into shape.
But I just don't wanna!   WAH WAH WAH!!!!!!!!!!!
So I'm taking a wee break from it.  Just for a couple of weeks. Then I'll come back to it.

(And that's a wee as in SMALL break.  Not a bathroom break.)

Maybe I can take some time before the summer school vacation (cue blood-curdling screams!) to channel all this energy, rage, etc. into some creative stuff.  Especially the writing.

Maybe I could write a good old-fashioned murder mystery, lol!



Cindy said...

I think this is the first time I have read a post on your site but this one really reminded me of a friend of mine. Her parents died when she was 15 and she came from Guyana to live with an Aunt in Canada as that was the only family she had. She has always been considered a burden and an outsider by her family but they are the only family she has so she sticks to them a bit. I know friends have tried to make her part of their family but i think she has just been messed up too much to trust. Breaks my heart!

azusmom said...

That's so sad! I certainly wish her (and you)the best!
Thanks for reading. :)