Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Going On

Yes, life does go on.  It has to.  I still find myself automatically checking the spot where Luna's bed was, in the living room, every time I walk in.  Or I hear a scratching noise and think it's her, scratching at the carpet before laying (lying?) down on it.  She was part Corgi, and they're known for arranging their sleeping spots just so. Or I'll hear Chopper walking around and, for a split second, forget that it's not Luna.

He was looking for her the other night.  Chopper.  He likes to be inside, but he stood by the door until my sister-in-law let him out.  Then he started sniffing the entire yard, and barking when he couldn't find her.  :(
At times I miss her to the point where it's a physical ache.  We knew her time was coming, but when I left for work that morning, I honestly had no idea that in a few hours I'd be holding her while she breathed her last.

Tonight I made pizza for dinner.  Luna loved to eat the crusts, and it was a small shock, again, to remember she wasn't there to beg for them.  I ended up throwing them away.

But...there are good things happening, too.  I started teaching the Shakespeare class, and the 3 hours flew by.  Always a good sign!  The fact that there are 3 of us, and not just me, makes all the difference. Plus, I'm a "floater":  I won't be responsible for any single group, but, rather, will help out wherever I'm needed.  It's very cool!

I'm a little nervous about tomorrow:  I'm babysitting my niece for the first time.  It's been a while since I've cared for a baby.  I hope I remember how, lol!
After that, I teach the Shakespeare class again, and after THAT, I race back up the freeway to teach my last Wednesday night Pilates Mat class.
Then I'll come home and pass out.

I am very much looking forward to it being 24 hours from now.

On yet another note, I've had insomnia, on and off, for the past 3 weeks.  So much has happened: the kids starting school, the new jobs, letting go of the old jobs, and, of course, the pup. I've been taking anti-anxiety meds to help me sleep.  Not every night, I don't want to come to rely on them.  I think that this, too, shall pass.  Once everything has settled a bit and I'm in my new routine, sleep will come more easily.
Plus, I've got to cut my caffeine intake!

So, yes, life goes on.
It's just a little bit dimmer at the moment.

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