Aside from being lovely and wonderful, and helping me work through all my emotional crap, my therapist is very practical.
Yesterday I was talking to her about my anger issues, and she asked me about my workouts. Specifically, my cardio. Do I get my heart rate up on a regular basis? Sure, kinda. I take a Spin class once a week and walk. Do I ever do kickboxing, or boxing, or martial arts?
Hmmm...no, I can't say that have, lately.
Because getting ones heart rate up releases tons of endorphins, and hitting a heavy bag (or even pretending to, or fantasizing about beating someone up during a Turbo Kick class) can be quite therapeutic.
See, I always think that, when I'm angry, I have to calm down immediately. But anger is a natural human emotion, and it needs to be expressed. Better to pretend I'm kicking John Doe in the face than to get in my car and inflict road rage, right? Or to hit a bag being securely held by someone who knows what he/she is doing that to yell and scream and scare my kids.
SOOOOOOOOO much better!
And with all those feel-good hormones racing around, I won't be angry for long.
The other thing I need to do is HAVE SOME FUN, DANG IT!!!!!!!
I keep hearing about others' vacations and fun weekends. What do I do on weekends? I work, I return rental cars, and run errands. Yes, it's all stuff that has to be done (luckily, after tomorrow, we won't have a rental car), but what about FUN?!?!?!
I went to my doctor today. He showed me some pictures in an anatomy to explain what's happening with my elbow (basically it's repetitive stress. Similar to Tennis Elbow, although in my case it's more like I-Suck-At-Tennis Elbow). He also asked if I'd be willing to try taking vitamin D for four weeks before starting an anti-depressant, so I said Sure, why no? It couldn't hurt! Then he gave me the names of 4 different anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medications to look up, along withe the Zoloft. Just to keep my options open.And to track when/how the anxiety/sadness happens, to determine which comes first.
All in all, he was, as usual, very thorough. He really wants his patients to be involved and proactive, and I like that.
So I have some lemon-flavored gummy vitamin D.
Makes it a bit more fun.
And we'll see how it goes.