Sunday, October 9, 2011

Huh. It DOES Get Easier!

Hubby's on a weekend climbing getaway in Yosemite this weekend.  I usually dread his weekends, just because it means more work for me.  But this weekend has been SO MUCH easier than usual!  Partly it's the weather; it's been quite warm and the pool is still open, so we hung out there for a couple of hours yesterday.  There were even 2 other little girls there who didn't seem the slightest bit phased by the kids' "odd" behaviors and included them (as much as possible) in their games.  It was very heartening, as there are other kids around here who make fun of mine.
Today we went over to the in-laws' for a barbecue. It was mellow and a lot of fun, and there were lots of people to help out with the kids.
But the fact is, my kids simply aren't babies anymore! It hit me yesterday that they are, in fact, old enough to be alone in the house while I take the dog a few yards away to do her thing. Not TOO far, mind you; they'd be fine, I'd be a wreck, lol!  They can handle their dad being away for a couple of days without freaking out. LG isn't going to write all over the walls with a Sharpie, and WG won't cry her eyes out if I;m in another room and she can't see me.
I admit to sometimes being a helicopter mom, but, in my defense, I have good reason.  LG will still try to get out to the yard at his grandparents' house without letting anyone know.  And he did, after all, wander away on our camping trip.  (He came back right away when he heard us calling, but it was pitch-black dark, and he headed toward the restroom without asking/telling us.  I can barely write that that without freaking out!) And WG doesn't always understand potentially dangerous situations, and, of course, cannot talk.
But I also need to realize that they are growing up, and have different issues than they had when they were toddlers.  I also forget how much WORK they were at that age, lol!  How I went through the days in a near zombie-like state, waking up multiple times a night, mainlining coffee, and carting the kids with me everywhere I went.  Which was mainly the grocery store and either the mall or the public garden for walks, pushing them in their stroller.
Sometimes I miss those days.  Until I regain my sanity.
LG is 10, and WG will be 8 next month.  They're both in school all day, and are perfectly capable of entertaining themselves on the weekends (when Hubby and I aren't dragging them hither and yon trying to expand their horizons). They are so much more in the world than they were back then. Not typical, by any means, but less in their own autistic worlds and more aware, awake, and involved. More independent.  And I'm so freakin' proud of them that sometimes I just feel like I'll burst with it!

There's hopeful news in other arenas, as well: it may be that I'm able to pay down some of my debt more easily than I'd thought.  Yes, I'll still be paying off my student loans from now until doomsday, but at least I CAN pay them, knock on wood!  Of course, I'm still trying to figure out what, if anything, to do with my degrees, but it's also kind of nice to NOT be so laser-focused like I was for my first 40 years.

Finally, I've joined a nearby weight-loss center.  It's relatively inexpensive and very reasonable.  I don't have to buy any special foods (although they have some, if I do: stuff that's also available in grocery stores), I can go and talk to my counselor as much as I want, and I am paying attention to what makes me feel good, rather than counting calories/points/fat grams/carbs, etc.  In fact, at my last appointment I was told that I'm not eating ENOUGH.  That's my kind o' weight loss, lol!
I'm finally figuring out that certain things make me feel blah.  Or worse. I think I'd gotten so used to feeling tired, run down, or even sick after eating that I figured it was normal.  But over the past couple of weeks I've felt better and more energized than I have in a really long time.  No more stomach aches, reflux, heartburn, or mid-afternoon energy crashes. At least, so far.

Oh, and one more thing: I finally got to see "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part ONE."  And LOVED it!  I think it's one of the best in the series, especially the story of the 3 brothers.  How beautiful was that?! I have to say I'm pretty impressed with the performances by all the young actors.  I suppose if you grow up making movies with some of the best actors in the world, it leaves an impression.

OK.  Gotta head to bed.  'Night!


Geosomin said...

I have to say, I'm not a parent and that is one of the things I would find so fascinating and strange about kids as tehy grow up. Watching their personalities develop...letting them do things on their own. It must be amazing :)

azusmom said...

It really is!!!!!