Thursday, July 1, 2010

Be Careful What You Wish For (And, Can I Unload Some More of My Neuroses?)

Well, I wanted more time to myself, and now I have it!
More time with the kids, anyway.
Which is good!
For the family.  Not so much for the wallet.
My Friday class, the first reformer class I ever taught, has been canceled.  Maybe not permanently, but for the time being. It's kinda sad, as I've been teaching it for over 2 years, but also kind of a relief, as it was REALLY hard to keep clients in that time slot!
I've also given notice at the other studio, and they've been INCREDIBLY understanding and wonderful about it!  They're even keeping me on as a sub!
My big hope now is that the intensive training will go well and I'll have a bunch of new opportunities; ones that will let me choose my schedule AND make money.  And, of course, allow me to be BRILLIANT with the clients!
Maybe someday I can even help train the wannabe-teachers.  That'd be fun!!!!!

OK, on to a more neurotic note: Hubby and his family are going camping in Yosemite this weekend,and they're bringing LG with them.  I'm staying home with WG, as she is SO not ready to camp yet! (I can only picture her having a complete meltdown at 4 AM in a crowded campsite!  We'd be murdered in our sleep, lol!) She did go to Yosemite once, but she was in utero at the time.  (Word of advice; DO NOT go camping while pregnant!  Waking up 6 times a night to pee in pitch darkness and nearly coming face-to-muzzle with a bear is not fun! )
So usually Hubby goes by himself and meets up with friends to climb, and I worry about him (see last post, RE: Worrier Queen).  But now I'm also REALLY worried about LG, 'cause he has a habit of running off. I looked into getting him a personal GPS, but it wouldn't have been available in time (they're leaving tomorrow). I do have a Brickhouse, but it doesn't work very well.  On the other hand, my S-I-L is also going, and she has an eagle eye.  SHE'LL be his GPS!!!!!
Plus, there will be lots of other families there, so I really don't HAVE to worry.
But I do.
Add to the fact that PMS has arrived and, well, I'm actually FEELING my emotions instead of eating them, and we have a nice big ball o' nerves that used to be Alyssa.
I don't want to be this way!  A few days ago I started to cry, and LG looked at me and said "Mommy happy!"  Today I started crying AGAIN, and WG wrapped her little hand around my arm and put her head on my shoulder.  I don't usually cry in front of my kids, but I also don't want them to think that crying is bad or something to fear or be ashamed of.  On the other hand, I don't want to scare them.
Geez.  Being a parent is HARD, lol!
So I'm trying to be positive.  LG is going to have a GREAT time!  And WG, the dog, and I will have a girls' weekend.  We'll walk around the mall, go swimming, watch fireworks...OK, the dog will have to stay home for those.
But still.  It'll be fun!

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