The best way to deal with my father's death, and to honor is life, is to laugh.
Really!
Because that's how he lived. I get my sense of humor from him (puns, anyone?), and all the tributes that have been pouring in talk about his humor. (If you google his name, Alan Lupo, you'll see an online guestbook and some newspaper articles about him. He was a reporter in Boston for about 40 years.)
Dad and I had a sometimes difficult relationship. We butted heads A LOT, but, at the end of the day, there was love. And respect. And above all, a shared sense of humor. I always knew I could tell him about something I found hilarious, and he would get it.
Even as he was lying in his hospice bed, barely able to speak or move, he would smile at our jokes, or stories about his grandkids, or the pictures my son drew that I put up on the wall.
We're having a memorial for him on Monday evening in Boston, the city he grew up in and that was in his blood. (He has a sandwich named after him at a deli in Brookline, and his image is on a mural at a bar in Jamaica Plain.) I'm flying there on Saturday. My brother is there now. (He lives in Texas, and yesterday he had to buy a sweatshirt 'cause he didn't have any warm clothes, lol!)
There won't be a funeral. He didn't want that. So, instead, we'll all gather together and tell our stories, laugh and cry, and, of course, eat. 'Cause what kind of Jews would we be if there wasn't something to nosh on?
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5 comments:
reading your blog prompted me to ask my parents what they wanted.
in that especially my mom but for the most part THEY BOTH are such secular jews would they want shiva?
how would they want it to look/be?
all that. so I thank you for that gift.
I admire the spirit of todays post and yet know it must have been killer to write.
Im so sorry for your loss,
Carla
Enjoy your time in Boston with your loved ones. It sounds like you picked the perfect way to remember your dad!
My heart goes out to you for your great loss.
Carla, wow! Thank you!
Charlotte, thank you, too!
OF COURSE there will be food that's what we Jews do at all times, right?
I love your attitude and hope you are able to laugh along with the flood of other emotions.
Can I ask, what's in your dad's special sandwich? Is that weird that I want to know?
x
I'm in Boston now (the memorial is tonight), and there has been A LOT of laughter, as well as a few tears.
I'm going to have to ask my mom about the sandwich, 'cause I always forget! I'll get back to you, lol!
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