Thursday, March 27, 2014

Just When You Think It's Hopeless...

You'd think I would have learned by now that everything is temporary.  But ESPECIALLY emotions.

Tuesday was one of THOSE days.  You now, when 8 bazillion little things go wrong.  Nothing catastrophic, nothing earth-shattering, just EVERY. LITTLE. THING.  The kind of day that makes you want to crawl back under the covers and sleep until it's over.  But you can't, because you are (ostensibly) a grown-up, with responsibilities.
I won't get into all the details. That would be dull AND would force me to relive it.  No thank you, very much.
Plus, there were a couple of big disappointments: It turns out that the workshop I was planning on taking in the Berkshires this summer, the one at the theater company where I started, just isn't possible for me this year.  And I'm REALLY bummed!  I'd been planning it for nearly a year, and with one fell swoop...well...down it went.
And then I let Hubby read the play I've been writing.  He REALLY didn't like it.
But...he was also very tired and cranky when he read it. And to be honest, it's not really his kind of thing, what I'm writing.
But I still felt cut off at the knees.
And then HE felt badly for making me feel that way.  It was a perfect circle of emotional wreckage, lol!

However, I had the play read last night in class, and all of the feedback was WONDERFUL!  They really loved it! They had terrific comments for me, extremely helpful.  And I got to be an actress again for a bit, and do the readings for 2 other plays.  It was a GREAT night!  We had food and wine and candles and it was all very lovely. I'm thinking we should all create a writer's group after the class has finished.  It's a terrific collection of folks.

And, again, it's so wonderful to be creative again.  To collaborate with like-minded people, to give and get feedback.  And this particular way of working is especially gratifying: Not just because it emanates from an acting standpoint, but because we've all gotten to see almost the entire process of everyone's play, from its birth to the (nearly) finished product.

So I'm riding a big high right now.  The exact opposite of how I felt 48 hours ago.
To be fair, I was also experiencing some of my whackadoo Post-Menstrual Syndrome depression.  Sunday was another rough day, and it had nothing to do with my play.  I'm starting to wonder if some of this may be perimenopause.  After all, I'm turning 45 this year, and my mom hit menopause at 49.

Finally, someone said something last night that gives me hope: I've been wondering lately if we're headed into a second Dark Ages.  But they said, what if we're already there?  What if we're IN those Dark Ages, and we're due for a renaissance?

I really, REALLY hope that's the case! I hope we can stop attacking each other (physically, virtually) and remember that we're only here for a short time, so we may as well get along.

And hopefully some great art will come out of it, as well.  :)


Geosomin said...

I'm so glad you were able to get a lot of feedback on your play and spend some time doing things you enjoy even with all the other "stuffs" and came after you. It sounds like an ideal place to be able to be creative through the whole process with others.
It's the little things isn't it :)
I can speak to menopause (be it chemically induced). Hellooooooo mood swings and water retention. Yes good times...but not so bad really. It all evens out after a while :)

azusmom said...

Thank you!