I Went Shopping, and Learned a Few Things

Yesterday, for the first time in I don't know how long, I went to the mall without my kids. I went with my mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and cousin-in-law. We spent the entire day out and about, while my husband took care of the kids. And I realized a few things about myself.
I avoid certain stores. At first it was about money: the simple fact is, I have never been able to afford to pay $220 for one pair of jeans. Nor do I want to pay that much. So I avoid those stores. But yesterday there were sales everywhere, and I desperately needed a new pair of jeans. So my SIL took me to Banana Republic, a store I don't think I've ever set foot in. And I felt REALLY uncomfortable. But it wasn't because of the money (the sale prices were really good!). It was because of what I look like. Having spent 9 years in L.A. and nearly 30 as an actress, I've always been self-conscious about my looks. Especially my lack of size zero-ness. I was subconsciously apologizing for being in that store! Until I looked around and realized that, unlike L.A, the other shoppers didn't look like models, either. Then I saw that they carry size 14. OK, not exactly a plus-size mecca, but at least they don't run out at size 4. And they carry "Curvy" sizes! Made for women who have things like hips, and butts, and thighs! And I found a pair of size 12's that fit, look good, are made well (and not by child laborers), and were affordable . (The curvy ones were actually too big. Go figure!-No pun intended.)
At another store, the only size they had left was, you guessed it, zero. And it occurred to me that, HELLO!-there's a reason for that! Because, unlike L.A., NO ONE FITS INTO THEM!!!!! It's NOT a moral failing on my part, or on anyone else's! CLOTHES SHOULD BE MADE TO FIT THE PERSON, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!
We also went to a bridal store so my SIL could try on her wedding dress (Yay! And she's GORGEOUS!!!). There were many women there, all different shapes and sizes, and they all looked BEAUTIFUL! (And I must say, there was a surprising lack of Bridezilla-ness.) One woman was on the podium next to us, and she was tall, big-boned and athletic. She was NOT tiny and fragile, and she looked so stunning! This idea that we all have to be tiny and frail (and white!) to be beautiful is ludicrous, and we all need to give a big ol' FU to Hollywood, Madison Avenue, and anyone else who tries to tell us we're not good enough just as we are, and that we have to starve to meet their fucking expectations! Who the fuck are they to tell us what to do?!?!