Friday, December 17, 2010

Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

That'd be a HUGE sigh of relief, from me.  The show is over, the kids were GREAT, and it even turns out that one of my students is the granddaughter of a woman I used to take Pilates with (and even taught Pilates to)!  Small, small world.
Both kids are back in school.  At least for this week.
I have a couple of days off here and there over the next couple of weeks.
My mom is in town, so I have an automatic babysitter. And we're having a "Doctor Who" marathon so she can catch up before the Christmas special.

I am also PMS-ing (still!!!!!), eating way too much, and worrying about finances.

But the other day was an interesting day.  I learned a lot of things.  I won't go into elaborate detail here, because, well, that'd be BO-RING (trust me!), but between my therapy session and a show on PBS, I learned a lot about perspective.
For example, I'm sure it comes as no surprise that I'm a highly-sensitive individual.  For a looooooooooong time I tried to take the advice of many and "stop being so sensitive!"
You can imagine how well THAT has worked.
So I've decided to look at the positives:

I am quite empathetic.

I can see many sides of an issue, and find myself interested in different points of view.

Animals and small children love me!

Friends know that if they need to talk, I will lend a sympathetic ear.

I can see beyond political/social beliefs to the human being underneath.  Eventually.

I don't like offending people.  This is good, because I don't like seeing people hurt, and I REALLY hate being the cause of that hurt! This may be a negative in some eyes, but it's quite positive for me.

Because I am accepting my hyper-sensitivity, I can stop bottling my feelings, defining myself by what others think of me, and can recognize the vulnerability beneath their bluster.  I can care about them even when they don't give a fig about me, and that doesn't make me weak.  Quite the opposite.

I am realizing that I am HARDLY the only hyper-sensitive person on the planet!  There are MILLIONS of us!  (Maybe we can start a movement!)

I am realizing the meaning of unconditional love.  Not that I've mastered it (except where my family is concerned), but I know that it DOES exist.

I feel closer to G-d.  I am His creature, after all.

I recognize how deeply flawed we humans are, and also how magnificent we are. Yay us!

I feel the right to my emotions and thoughts.  My overly-active self-censor is getting weaker.  Which is good.  It must be quite tired after all these years, and it's time to retire.

I am the way I am.  That doesn't mean there isn't work to be done, or that things can change, but I am through trying to be someone completely different.  I will never be fearless, ruthlessly efficient, a risk-taker, the center of attention at parties, or naturally skinny.

And that is A-OK with me!!!!!!!

3 comments:

Charlotte said...

Girl, I am super hypersensitive too! And we SHOULD form a movement by golly. I love your list. love love love love it!

Geosomin said...

Can I be in the hypersensitive movement too?
I'll bring cookies :)

azusmom said...

Let the movement (with cookies!) begin!