Well that's done. Election day is over, not many surprises. Not terribly happy with most of the results, but, again, they were not unexpected. It seems the political pendulum swings back & forth pretty quickly these days. So one side will crow and beat their chests, and, most likely, we'll get right back to gridlock and finger-pointing while nothing much changes.
Part of me is wondering if I should just pop some popcorn, pull up a chair, and point and laugh. 'Cause I'm tired of crying.
Truthfully? Yes, I'm upset about the outcome of the elections. It does nothing to pretend that I'm not, that I'm fine. But it also doesn't help to panic, either. On Facebook today, Marianne Williamson said "Don't panic, grieve." That that's the way to figure out the next steps to take.
Makes sense to me.
Across the board, not just with politics.
I do have to admit, however, that sometimes it feels REALLY good to be pissed off at people in my own political party. 'Cause sometimes they just muck it up. And by not having any backbone whatsoever (politicians) and not voting (citizens), they have no one to blame but themselves. And if you're gonna be like THAT, then, I'm sorry, but I can't just pat you on the head and tell you it's OK.
Because it isn't.
Which brings me to, well, me. For a long time now I've been trying to remain optimistic about my own situation. Actually, that's the wrong phrasing. Because being optimistic is one thing, and completely ignoring the crap is something else entirely.
I won't lie. It's been rough these past 10 years or so. We have been through it, and there's no point in pretending it hasn't happened. There's been a lot of death, a lot of loss, a ton of disappointment. That's life, yes, but sometimes it seems we've had a bit more than our share these past few years.
Right now my in-laws are out of town. And, truthfully, it highlights just how hard it is living with them. While I'm grateful for the roof over our heads and the (occasional) help with the kids, there's a lot of negative stuff that goes along with it. And we're not in a position right now to change that, so we just have to deal.
As always, there is the constant worry about the kids, and what the future holds.
My husband has a horrible job that pays little. We're working on changing that.
I want my career back. I'm working on that, as well.
There's more. I won't go into it all.
The point of all this is to ACKNOWLEDGE it. Because ignoring it doesn't help. Just the opposite. If I deny that anything is wrong, if I keep stuffing the issues down, how can I make anything better? It didn't work when I ate to cover my anxiety/sadness/anger, why should it work on a broader scale? If I'm feeling trapped, who else can can dig me out? No one! I gotta grab a shovel (or even a spoon) and start getting MYSELF out of the quagmire.
And while it's all well and good to care and for strangers, wringing my hands and saying "Oh dearie me" doesn't get stuff done. Staying awake and worrying at 4 AM won't feed the hungry or house the homeless. Donating food to the local pantry will help. Volunteering, making donations, those kinds of things make the difference.
It's time for me to get off my butt (and my computer, as I sit typing this :) ), and DO THINGS.
Next week I'm going to London. By myself. And it is a trip that is not only desperately wanted, but NEEDED. I have to get out of my environment, my everyday routine, and figure sh*t out.
(I already know one thing very clearly, that arguing with people on Facebook is nothing but a gigantic time suck that changes nothing. Actually, that's not entirely true: My anxiety and blood pressure levels change, they go waaaaaay up.)
So this trip: I'm hoping to get some much-needed perspective. As well as a few days of peace & quiet, time to myself, and, as I've mentioned, the first genuine vacation I've had in a long while. See some shows, visit museums, walk the streets, and just BE in my favorite city in the world.
I need to figure out a way to make our lives better. I'm tired of waiting and worrying. Again, that will change nothing.
I should probably also say that I'm VERY EXCITED for my trip, lol!!!!!!!!
So, the take-away from all this:
-Don't Panic (and always bring a towel).
-Worry doesn't help. Feeling the feeling, letting it go, and taking action DOES.
-Petty arguments solve nothing and only create stress.
-Acknowledge the situation as it is, and allow the corresponding emotions to surface. Feel them. Admit them. Let them go.
-Enjoy my trip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK. Good. This sounds like a plan.
And now, I must go get my flu shot.