Not the one WHO flies the TARDIS, but the ones I saw yesterday. The medical practice I used to go to has shut down, so I went to a new place. It was my first visit, and the medical history review, exam, labs, EKG, and prescription took 40 minutes. They were quick, competent, and thorough.
Oh, and all women, which I think is kinda cool.
AND one of the best coffee chains in the world (Philz) has a store 2 doors down.
I'm back on Zoloft. Just started it yesterday evening. I'm being eased back on, so I won't take a full dose for the first week.
The first time I went on it (2002), I got skinny. The next time (2008), I got fat. This time I'm kinda hoping it'll be just right and I'll stay where I'm at. (Although, if it wants to flatten out my stomach a bit I certainly won't complain...)
On another topic entirely, have I ever mentioned how much PAPERWORK is involved with having 2 autistic kids?
Because, lately, it feels like that's pretty much how I spend 90% of my time; filling out paperwork. Doctor's forms, Medi-Cal renewal applications, Medi-Cal NEW renewal applications (as in "We've changed the paperwork so can you please fill in these 400 new pages and have it back to us by next week otherwise you won't get your benefits"), Pre-IEP forms, post-IEP forms, IPP forms, re-application (every year) for school, applications for camp/swim clinic/pool privileges...the list goes on and on.
Seemingly endlessly.
It's all worth it, of course. I just worry about the trees...
And my hand.
Speaking of which, I'd best get back to it. See ya!
Thursday, September 8, 2016
Tuesday, September 6, 2016
See Ya, Summer!
I used to LOOOOOOOOOOOVE summer. It was my favorite time of the year. Long days, warm weather, and, for a while at least, it meant doing theater. Usually outdoors.
I still love summer.
But it's much more hectic nowadays.
And this summer was an odd one. I believe I've mentioned that in early August, WG suddenly decided that she didn't like swimming anymore. Swimming! Which, all these years, including through July, has been one of her favorite things ever!
We think it's probably because of the anxiety. And scheduling. We usually go to the pool in the morning, because it gets crowded in the afternoon (and she does NOT do well with crowds). But she may not have been sleeping well, and too tired in the morning to enjoy swimming.
And even going to the park is too much for her. She sits in the car and cries, and it's heartbreaking. I really, REALLY hope we can rid her of the anxiety, so she can enjoy her life again. :( She doesn't have to love all the same things she used to, but she needs to be able to participate in her own life. And to not be afraid of life. I understand that feeling, and I pray she doesn't have to suffer through it.
LG is also displaying some new behaviors. Which seem mildly obsessive-compulsive. His IEP is coming up in October, so we'll discuss it all then. But he's still a happy, sweet kid. Thankfully! (Especially the happy part.)
Adolescence is completely fascinating! Sometimes it feels like we're getting to know our kids all over again.
Otherwise, I'm trying not to freak out too much over the election. It's getting closer, in more ways than one, and it's terrifying.
I was able to keep up with one of my yoga classes over the summer. Which made a difference, I think. I have to remember to take care of myself, as well as everyone else. Otherwise I'll be useless.
So, I need to deal with my own anxiety, as well as help WG with hers.
Ah, life. Never dull, is it?
I still love summer.
But it's much more hectic nowadays.
And this summer was an odd one. I believe I've mentioned that in early August, WG suddenly decided that she didn't like swimming anymore. Swimming! Which, all these years, including through July, has been one of her favorite things ever!
We think it's probably because of the anxiety. And scheduling. We usually go to the pool in the morning, because it gets crowded in the afternoon (and she does NOT do well with crowds). But she may not have been sleeping well, and too tired in the morning to enjoy swimming.
And even going to the park is too much for her. She sits in the car and cries, and it's heartbreaking. I really, REALLY hope we can rid her of the anxiety, so she can enjoy her life again. :( She doesn't have to love all the same things she used to, but she needs to be able to participate in her own life. And to not be afraid of life. I understand that feeling, and I pray she doesn't have to suffer through it.
LG is also displaying some new behaviors. Which seem mildly obsessive-compulsive. His IEP is coming up in October, so we'll discuss it all then. But he's still a happy, sweet kid. Thankfully! (Especially the happy part.)
Adolescence is completely fascinating! Sometimes it feels like we're getting to know our kids all over again.
Otherwise, I'm trying not to freak out too much over the election. It's getting closer, in more ways than one, and it's terrifying.
I was able to keep up with one of my yoga classes over the summer. Which made a difference, I think. I have to remember to take care of myself, as well as everyone else. Otherwise I'll be useless.
So, I need to deal with my own anxiety, as well as help WG with hers.
Ah, life. Never dull, is it?
Thursday, September 1, 2016
Hoo Boy!
Rough night last night, with anxiety keeping me awake.
This morning I asked Hubby "What do we do if So-And-So is elected president?" and he said "We roll with the punches."
Which, really, is all we CAN do. I mean, we can be active, and work to help those who need it, but we can't go back in time and change election results. (Even if we could, should anyone have that power? :) )
I also spoke with WG's teacher and the school director this morning, to let them know of our plans. And they reminded me that if I ever need to talk or have any questions, they are ALWAYS there.
Sometimes I forget that. We are SO lucky to have them!
We have an appointment for WG with a very experienced doctor in Berkeley. He works a lot with kids on the spectrum, and everyone I've spoken with who uses this particular treatment sees him.
Here's hoping we can afford it. :)
I also have an appointment, finally, to get new headshots. And there's a nearby theater that's doing lots of female-centric shows next year, so I'll be sending my new photo (along with my old resume) to them.
And I'm (hopefully) getting back on Zoloft next week.
So, we'll see how it all goes.
Onward and, hopefully, upward.
This morning I asked Hubby "What do we do if So-And-So is elected president?" and he said "We roll with the punches."
Which, really, is all we CAN do. I mean, we can be active, and work to help those who need it, but we can't go back in time and change election results. (Even if we could, should anyone have that power? :) )
I also spoke with WG's teacher and the school director this morning, to let them know of our plans. And they reminded me that if I ever need to talk or have any questions, they are ALWAYS there.
Sometimes I forget that. We are SO lucky to have them!
We have an appointment for WG with a very experienced doctor in Berkeley. He works a lot with kids on the spectrum, and everyone I've spoken with who uses this particular treatment sees him.
Here's hoping we can afford it. :)
I also have an appointment, finally, to get new headshots. And there's a nearby theater that's doing lots of female-centric shows next year, so I'll be sending my new photo (along with my old resume) to them.
And I'm (hopefully) getting back on Zoloft next week.
So, we'll see how it all goes.
Onward and, hopefully, upward.
Sunday, August 28, 2016
Asking for Help...And Getting It!
Last night I posted my concern about the (potential) cost of WG's (potential) medication on my Facebook page, and was almost immediately bombarded with suggestions and empathy from friends. I'm MUCH more hopeful today than I was yesterday, and it MAY be that this is a lot more doable (and affordable) than we originally thought.
Fingers crossed.
I am cautiously optimistic about the whole thing.
Which is sort of like rainbows, sunshine, and unicorns for a normal person. :)
I've also joined a Facebook group that's got oodles of info on the topic. Hopefully we can get her started soon.
So...away we go!
Which is sort of like rainbows, sunshine, and unicorns for a normal person. :)
I've also joined a Facebook group that's got oodles of info on the topic. Hopefully we can get her started soon.
So...away we go!
Thursday, August 25, 2016
Controversy
I spoke with WG's teacher today, and we've both come to the same conclusion: A lot of her behavior stems from anxiety. And there are other kids in her school who take meds for anxiety, and have been helped quite a lot. So we're looking into it. One of the options is a bit controversial (and expensive), but it may be our best option.
Because the last thing we want is for her to experience that. Especially at the levels I experienced it at her age. I was in a place where waking up in the morning and going to school caused crippling fear. I hope she never, EVER has to feel that way!
So, we'll do whatever it takes to help her.
Part of me feels badly because she inherited her anxiety from me. On the other hand, at least I'm more informed than my parents and grandparents were. We're learning SO MUCH about the brain, and how it functions, and I'm glad we live in an era where that information is available.
And I'm going to ignore all the voices (mine and others) that try to make us feel guilty for medicating her, if that's what it comes to.
Quite frankly, anyone who tried to tell us that we're doing it "wrong" can, to quote Malcolm Tucker, f*ck the f*ck off.
Because the last thing we want is for her to experience that. Especially at the levels I experienced it at her age. I was in a place where waking up in the morning and going to school caused crippling fear. I hope she never, EVER has to feel that way!
So, we'll do whatever it takes to help her.
Part of me feels badly because she inherited her anxiety from me. On the other hand, at least I'm more informed than my parents and grandparents were. We're learning SO MUCH about the brain, and how it functions, and I'm glad we live in an era where that information is available.
And I'm going to ignore all the voices (mine and others) that try to make us feel guilty for medicating her, if that's what it comes to.
Quite frankly, anyone who tried to tell us that we're doing it "wrong" can, to quote Malcolm Tucker, f*ck the f*ck off.
Monday, August 22, 2016
Starting Anew
Blog-wise. And in other ways, too.
3 months after my last post, I am re-committing to this blog. At this point, I'm probably the only one who will see it. Which is OK. I'm trying to get myself to write at least a little each day, and this is a as good a place to start as any.
It's been a somewhat difficult summer. Moving into the kids' adolescence is quite the adventure. Activities that used to be surefire favorites are now disliked. Sleep patterns are, once again, disrupted. And behaviors we'd thought had gone by the wayside shortly after toddlerhood have come back, only this time the kids are bigger and stronger.
So I am searching for guidance. Online and in person. Because navigating adolescence is hard enough. I can't even imagine what it's like doing so with autism.
Recently I read a piece online about what a meltdown feels like for an autistic person. And it made so much sense! Because I, as an adult, have had many meltdowns (usually in my car, when I'm alone), and they feel EXACTLY like what the writer described! Not that I'm comparing my experiences to my kids', but I suddenly saw things a whole lot more clearly.
And it's made me think. A lot.
I truly believe that autism is mainly hereditary. It could be exacerbated by environmental concerns, certainly, but I don't believe it's CAUSED by them. Sometimes I see much of myself, especially as a child, in my kids' behaviors. Sure, much of my own behavior was learned from my parents and grandparents, but the physical issues (brain chemistry, for example) that lead to depression and anxiety could also be genetic, right? I really need to do more research on this.
I'm trying to teach my daughter that getting angry and upset is OK. The physical lashing out that often accompanies it isn't, but the emotions themselves are VALID. Same with my son, who rarely takes it out on others, but seems to absorb it back into himself.
I'd like to create an Autism Utopia: A village for autistic people and their families to live and work in. It would be safe, friendly, affordable, and everyone would be accepted as they are. And there would be as much support as needed. I read stories from autistic people telling of how difficult and painful it is to get through the day. It's horrifying and heartbreaking.
(BTW, as I was writing this, I found a study that says that kids can inherit depression and anxiety from their parents. So, yay Science!
But boo my genes for passing this along!)
In other (related) discoveries, I've realized I need my Zoloft, that my kids need melatonin, and WG needs a nap in the middle of the day, even if she's at school.
As to the Zoloft, I'm going to request it when I go to the doctor for my checkup in a couple of weeks.I'm tired of feeling ashamed of needing it. If I needed a blood thinner, or heart medication, I wouldn't feel this way. But I still buy into the stigma surrounding anything having to do with my own mental health. Not anyone else's, just mine.
OK, gotta go. More soon!
3 months after my last post, I am re-committing to this blog. At this point, I'm probably the only one who will see it. Which is OK. I'm trying to get myself to write at least a little each day, and this is a as good a place to start as any.
It's been a somewhat difficult summer. Moving into the kids' adolescence is quite the adventure. Activities that used to be surefire favorites are now disliked. Sleep patterns are, once again, disrupted. And behaviors we'd thought had gone by the wayside shortly after toddlerhood have come back, only this time the kids are bigger and stronger.
So I am searching for guidance. Online and in person. Because navigating adolescence is hard enough. I can't even imagine what it's like doing so with autism.
Recently I read a piece online about what a meltdown feels like for an autistic person. And it made so much sense! Because I, as an adult, have had many meltdowns (usually in my car, when I'm alone), and they feel EXACTLY like what the writer described! Not that I'm comparing my experiences to my kids', but I suddenly saw things a whole lot more clearly.
And it's made me think. A lot.
I truly believe that autism is mainly hereditary. It could be exacerbated by environmental concerns, certainly, but I don't believe it's CAUSED by them. Sometimes I see much of myself, especially as a child, in my kids' behaviors. Sure, much of my own behavior was learned from my parents and grandparents, but the physical issues (brain chemistry, for example) that lead to depression and anxiety could also be genetic, right? I really need to do more research on this.
I'm trying to teach my daughter that getting angry and upset is OK. The physical lashing out that often accompanies it isn't, but the emotions themselves are VALID. Same with my son, who rarely takes it out on others, but seems to absorb it back into himself.
I'd like to create an Autism Utopia: A village for autistic people and their families to live and work in. It would be safe, friendly, affordable, and everyone would be accepted as they are. And there would be as much support as needed. I read stories from autistic people telling of how difficult and painful it is to get through the day. It's horrifying and heartbreaking.
(BTW, as I was writing this, I found a study that says that kids can inherit depression and anxiety from their parents. So, yay Science!
But boo my genes for passing this along!)
In other (related) discoveries, I've realized I need my Zoloft, that my kids need melatonin, and WG needs a nap in the middle of the day, even if she's at school.
As to the Zoloft, I'm going to request it when I go to the doctor for my checkup in a couple of weeks.I'm tired of feeling ashamed of needing it. If I needed a blood thinner, or heart medication, I wouldn't feel this way. But I still buy into the stigma surrounding anything having to do with my own mental health. Not anyone else's, just mine.
OK, gotta go. More soon!
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
Sorry! Again!
Two months. That's a long time. I'm just not a good blogger.
Life has been going on apace. LG, not so little anymore, had grown about 4 inches in the past couple of months. As has WG (not so wee).
I've just returned (as in Sunday) from another London trip. I decided to go early this year, for (slightly) warmer weather and (much) longer days. And I actually saw a show this time. "Ophelia's Zimmer" ("Ophelia's Room") at the Royal Court. It was in German with English subtitles, and was pretty amazing!
I also did lots of walking and visited museums and parks. As well as finally finding my way to Forbidden Planet and loading up on "Doctor Who" swag. :)
I was lucky enough to catch "The Hollow Crown: Richard III" on the BBC, which premiered on Saturday. Benedict Cumberbatch seemed to be having the time of his life, and Sophie Okonedo was incredible. Hopefully it'll air in North America soon. Definitely worth a watch.
I feel pretty proud of myself for making my way around the city either walking or taking the tube. I even got asked for directions a few times! Which is really something, given that I get lost going to the bathroom. It's probably because I tend to walk quickly. And perhaps purposefully. I even got yelled at by an irate cyclist in Hyde Park. Made me feel like a native! Brought a tear to my eye, I tell ya.
The day before I left was Ride a Wave, and, thankfully we were able to go this year (WG was sick last year). It's such a wonderful day! All the kids have such a great time, and the volunteers are the best.
The pup has been protecting us from everything and everyone: UPS, bus drivers, squirrels, birds, and whatever is living in the crawlspace under the house. She actually managed to get in there today, nearly giving me a coronary. Hubby's going to secure the entrance.
She's such a sweetie! I was almost more worried about her when I was away than I was about the kids. :) The kids knew where I was and understood I'd be back soon. But Avery has imprinted onto me, and she wasn't sure why I wasn't there.
Needless to say, I got a very nice greeting upon my return, and she hasn't left my side since. <3 br="">As much as I miss our pittie, this girl has made her way deep into my heart, and I can't imagine life without her.
I also did another performance of the show I'd done a year ago. Played a different part this time. And it was great! Nice to be onstage, of course. Maybe time to get those headshots done.
OK, still jet lagged. Gonna get ready for bed. 'Night all!
Life has been going on apace. LG, not so little anymore, had grown about 4 inches in the past couple of months. As has WG (not so wee).
I've just returned (as in Sunday) from another London trip. I decided to go early this year, for (slightly) warmer weather and (much) longer days. And I actually saw a show this time. "Ophelia's Zimmer" ("Ophelia's Room") at the Royal Court. It was in German with English subtitles, and was pretty amazing!
I also did lots of walking and visited museums and parks. As well as finally finding my way to Forbidden Planet and loading up on "Doctor Who" swag. :)
I was lucky enough to catch "The Hollow Crown: Richard III" on the BBC, which premiered on Saturday. Benedict Cumberbatch seemed to be having the time of his life, and Sophie Okonedo was incredible. Hopefully it'll air in North America soon. Definitely worth a watch.
I feel pretty proud of myself for making my way around the city either walking or taking the tube. I even got asked for directions a few times! Which is really something, given that I get lost going to the bathroom. It's probably because I tend to walk quickly. And perhaps purposefully. I even got yelled at by an irate cyclist in Hyde Park. Made me feel like a native! Brought a tear to my eye, I tell ya.
The day before I left was Ride a Wave, and, thankfully we were able to go this year (WG was sick last year). It's such a wonderful day! All the kids have such a great time, and the volunteers are the best.
The pup has been protecting us from everything and everyone: UPS, bus drivers, squirrels, birds, and whatever is living in the crawlspace under the house. She actually managed to get in there today, nearly giving me a coronary. Hubby's going to secure the entrance.
She's such a sweetie! I was almost more worried about her when I was away than I was about the kids. :) The kids knew where I was and understood I'd be back soon. But Avery has imprinted onto me, and she wasn't sure why I wasn't there.
Needless to say, I got a very nice greeting upon my return, and she hasn't left my side since. <3 br="">As much as I miss our pittie, this girl has made her way deep into my heart, and I can't imagine life without her.
I also did another performance of the show I'd done a year ago. Played a different part this time. And it was great! Nice to be onstage, of course. Maybe time to get those headshots done.
OK, still jet lagged. Gonna get ready for bed. 'Night all!
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