Sunday, September 3, 2017

I Can't Even...

4 months since my last post.
I can only apologize.  But I can't promise it won't happen again.

Summer seemed to go very quickly this year, but it was a challenge.  There were definitely some high points: The show, which was GREAT!  It was a terrific group of people, and we had a good run.

Yesterday I met Peter Capaldi at SF Comic Con!  He is truly a mensch!  Such a lovely, thoughtful, generous man.  I tried to tell him how much his and his wife's work has meant to me, and how much of an inspiration they both are to me, but, as usual, I f*#@ed it up, and I left him confused.  I was there to take a photo with him, and it was all very rushed.  I got nervous and tongue-tied.  But he was so nice about it: he said "Oh good! At least something is working!" Which made me laugh.
But I've been stewing over it since, as I do, and I just feel awful.  I'm sure it was no big deal for him, he probably meets off-kilter people all the time.  But I waited years to meet him, and when the time came, I blew it.

It has made me realize just how incredibly awkward I am, socially.  Oh, I'm fine once you get to know me, and vice-versa.  But I am constantly making social faux-pas without ever meaning to.  I thought I was getting better, but I'm not.
I've also been wondering, for quite some time, if I myself am on the autism spectrum.  It would certainly explain how both of our kids are autistic!
Which then makes me wonder how much good I can do for them, if I can't even help myself.

In July, WG started having seizures.  She's now on medication, and has been diagnosed with generalised epilepsy.  She had 4 before the medication.  Knock on wood, she hasn't had any since.

My mom came to visit recently, and she ended up in the ER after hurting her back.  So she spent most of her visit taking pain pills and trying to relax.

LG has started a new high school, and it seems to be going well so far.  We'll learn more at his open house this week.

Hubby just opened a show, which also is going well.  Unfortunately, we are in the midst of a crazy heat wave, and the theater has no air conditioning.  They run fans before the show and at the intermission, but not during the show itself.  The fans are loud, so the actors wouldn't be heard.  Plus, the stage lights would blow.

The pup is great.  :)  Not so happy in this heat, however.

I am back in therapy.  Need it badly, with everything that's going on.  Although, honestly, it sometimes feels like a losing battle.

I know I'll feel better later.  I need a good cry and to talk it out.
And to reassure Hubby that it's nothing he said or did that has upset me.  :)


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